Apple is starting to **** me off again

04:00 am, January 1st, on my final day of edit for a long term project, my production computer decided that it would not be able to face 2016 and summarily offed itself. I mean FOUR HOURS!!! into the year and the gizmo had already lost all hope. Logic board done.

Now, I’ve been up against it for a spell. It’s bad enough that 2015 was a real mofo and was grinding up people I know for dog food. That general malaise led to me not posting on this blog for awhile as I waited to see where all the pebbles would fall on the rice paper. Now, in partial vent mode, I return to the finger dancing arts with a typo-phobic rhumba that no virgin eyes should witness.

I have a stack of 6 dead Powerbooks dating as far back to the Titanium 500 mHz. The problem: Logic boards. Logic board is motherboard in Apple-speak. I’ve had at least 3 desktops bow out with terminal logicboarditis. And replacing a logic board outside of warranty is basically saying “buy a new rig, holmes” because the part itself costs so much. Know an option? Let me know. (The old PC laptop took a dump 2015 also, but that’s not a logic board issue).

It seems that maybe I work these rigs too hard but come on, 9 logic boards? But that’s what’s not getting me. I need to spec out what I can get that runs what I need. The “genius” at the Genius Bar, after taking 1.25 hours to confirm that the logic board was at issue couldn’t tell me the lowest end Mac that can push consumer level 4k. Oh how genius. The fucking Apple.com site and its award-winning UI makes it a fucking nightmare to find info on the main program that I use a Mac: FINAL CUT PRO X. Ultimately, I type in the “/finalcutpro” or do a click from a search. I’m mean what fuckery is that?!

Apple couldn’t give a flying snot about what I think as they pledge increased diversity in hiring yet exclusivity in product while oversimplifying their product line and their web site. Suck it, Apple. I fucking hate all permutations of Windows but all applications that I run of my Macs run on the PCs, too. Well, not FCP nor Logic. Plus last year for the first time in over a decade, I made all but one of my external drives Mac-only. The quantity of Terabytes that I’d have to transfer to have that data production ready returns me back to my safe word: FUCK!!!! I am a little irritated today as you might have noticed.

I lost a couple of “clients” because losing the computer in such a bad timing (post December expenditures, etc.) crippled what I could immediately do, but honestly, those people wanted the works and don’t pay like they deserve my attention. I’m much better off without them. I need to get the job done and it seems again like Apple wants to make it difficult for me to do that. I should not have to sift through a bunch of BS and a million clicks just to get to the info I want, asshats. “Macs, iCrap, OSX, Apple Software, More iGadgets and shit…” That’s my free UX consultation for you sons of Jobs. The first hit’s free.

splash_00

“I thought he would cuss a lot more than that. Should I be scared or something?”

Postal 1.2

Promo clusterf**k explained for interested parties while meandering in mazy motion commences next sentence. The day after I wrote that podcast list on the blog, iTunes decided it was time to dump about 8 years of archived podcasts from the main hard drive. Whereas it took a bit of initiative to do that, I did not ask Apple to send me HAL motherfucking 9000 to make decisions for me. Just compute, chippy. Now all this occurred after my mailing list database and back up files were partially corrupted leaving me with 2 days of re-integrating data so I could mail these cards that were already 2 months behind schedule. That caused the fatigue that allowed me to listen to Gladys’s (whatever her name is. Pestilence of locust on her houses!) 33 cents short of a penny advice.

Image

Is it really punk when you punk yourself?

Now, I screwed up — which is a trend that I’ve foresworn to abolish. But this tale of WOE might be of value to someone else. To magnify my flawed postage I had willfully designed a postcard which is not only barely legible but also illegal by postal code. Notice the microscopic return address in the lower-left middle. Not one of my return to senders made it back to daddy. If the seller of such postage would be to lazy to sell the appropriate kind why would anyone expect a clerk in the back scour this entire mess of a card to find the lice-sized return address? That would be asking too much.

I designed these bastards with the possibility of a couple finding themselves in the round file cabinet because of circumstance. Getting them all dumped is a bit of a blow. Maybe it’s karmic return for stealing the brush strokes instead of scratching them myself in my arm with a rusty guitar pick.

So of course since I have to reprint, I design a new card with fresh new illegalities. I moved the return address closer to the top

The brand new villain

The brand new villain

and bumped it up a point. I finally remembered to put the QR code on but it’s sitting illegally (which hasn’t bitten my ass in the past). The edge of the email address is the legal line but since I have text and graphics to the right, I don’t suppose the code will make too much fuss. I moved the illegal Go Get Funky @ Megafunk.com over a bit so the stamp could fit without obscuring the OM of the dot com. I haven’t had them printed yet so maybe I’ll capitulate and move the QR code. I had been printing them on the labels. Vee shall ceee.

I guess the other issue is that some of the postcards did go out with proper postage and I’d rather not double up lest someone feel I’m doubling the SPAM. However, when it comes down to it, who cares? You dig the shot, you have it twice. If you don’t, you’ve tossed it twice.

Next, I gear up for new shoots next week. Any new promo has to have an image produced this year. The portfolio can’t have too much dust on it and be viable. I should probably shake the dust off of myself also while I’m at it.