Baby Talk 1984.0

I’m not stoking the misty-eyed sentiment of the “The Good Ole’ Days”. There will be no refrains of wishing I was back in the land of cotton… look away Dixieland! I am providing a simple showcase for contrast and smearing my long standing, general disdain of certain pop-related tropes. Hence I dust off the thump-o-meter and arm it with two conversion modules (Niggometronic and Bitchagraphic sensors) to it so that it can switch up with the times. It’s a valuable piece of steamfunk.

As I believe I mentioned in a prior post, I shot an event in July where the college educated hostess managed to buck dance her posterior through an 11 hour gauntlet of nigga-riddled expletives with the absolute nadir being a song whose chorus was comprised of reciting the single term of endearment repeatedly until The Department of Water and Power shut off the power grid so to not be accused of being an L.A. Clipper sponsor. Literally (ok, figuratively) every song was an homage Thomas Jefferson eating corn and boning Sally Hemings while watching the darkies sangum theys work songs to whip cracking rhythm.

Funky Beat, Fugitive, One Love, I’m a Ho

With the recent death of Larry Smith who produced Run-D.M.C., Whodini, and many others, I got to thinking that I didn’t recall a single utterance of Nigglelectics in any of RDMCs 1st three albums nor any of Whodini’s. Upon bringing that up, I was reminded that when there was a shooting in Long Beach Arena at a performance, Run-D.M.C. was called a “gangsta rap group” by the all knowing peckerheads of the local media. Pop music is kids music. I was a teen in 1984 and Whodini’s “Escape” meant a lot to me. D.M.C. barking “I will not stop, I will not quit! Some are at the top but I’m on the tip and that’s as high on the top as you can get. And you best believe Ill be on it” (Run-D.M.C. “Darryl and Joe [Krush-Groove 3] from memory, mind you) helped push me through games where I was fighting yet another injury. Here we are 30 years later with 30 years of technology and 30 years of mainstreaming and fusion and the flood of materials and the dominate verbiage generated for these now kids are “nigga”, “bitch”, “weed”, “money”. All hail the Ni**er God where the one-word chorus is king!

Legend: N is for nigger and all variants. B is for bitches (exclusively). Maybe the sensor will be re-tuned for more diverse data response. W is for marijuana references.


Rock Box, Sucker M.C.s, It’s Like That

Run-D.M.C. “Run-D.M.C.” (1984) versus Random Popular Mainstream Rap Album* (2014)

Run-D.M.C. > 9 songs = 0 N’s. 0 B’s 0 W’s

Unnamed Top 100 single listened to today > 4 N’s …PER QUATRAIN

*I had intended on counting an entire album but time gets in my way from that level of being thorough. Subsequently, the random rap song that I picked from the Billboard Hot 100 didn’t have an album attached so I rather than waste my time, anyone can do their own research or make suggestions to modern popular rap that might trick the Thump-o-meter of its content vintage.

Coming soon: The 1st Annual Coonies

Coming soon: The 1st Annual Coonies

Hell, you can be common. You can rap about you want to in whatever mundane or base way you want. I don’t have to listen except when you bobble heads play your shit too loud. Get off my lawn! I’m not a kid anymore. Apparently, neither are the kids.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s