elbow greasing

Portfolio reviews have been an interesting question to me. They show how creative executives are so well insulated for the most part that you have to maximize your possibilities to being heard by dropping some cash and a weekend just for the opportunity to meet them. It’s business speed dating with the greater sense of desperation.


It’s going to hurt.

The thing is, you’re going to have to drop cash to meet these people anyway. There’s yourself or by proxy cold-calling, emailing, sending promos, etc. to possibly get through the barrier. They’re getting bombarded daily by people who like money just as much as me… Hell, probably even more. It’s the equivalent of my spam folder and the digital Everest of sexual stimulation drugs that stain it.

Anyway, I’ve done two reviews thus far. What I’ve seen from them is an instant rise to billions of dollars is that most of the people recall me, frequently by name and works, when I come across them in other situations. It’s important once you meet with these professionals to use the momentum in attempting to communicate with others as well as utilizing the understanding of tone that you might have gathered about that individual and their company. I ran into one lady at a huge agency who came up to me, gave me a hug, and said that she had received my email but will get to it within the next few weeks. That came without any prompting from me. Sometimes things take a long time for the results you want.

The cost of doing business…

The Currency of Silence

Shut your trap. I mean seriously. Everything doesn’t deserve comment or evaluation. No one wants to hear continual yapping about every facet of a crystal — especially if it’s their crystal. I can pile 50 lbs of food on a plate and someone could walk in after 49.9 lbs disappeared I guarantee you that dipshit would say something equivalent to “you didn’t eat enough to leave that much on your plate.”

Arrogance, ignorance, you don’t know the full story and YET YOU STILL HAVE TO FLAP YOUR LIPS! Shut up. If I wanted your opinion, I’d kill myself then resurrect myself to ask you for it.

Tug of Woe

Fake help: Pretending you’re helping when you’re really attempting to lodge your interests in the conversation is passive/aggressive. Hulk hates passive/aggression. Hulk wants to smash passive/aggression. You want bread, fuck a baker. OK. The baker gives you bread. The baker says, “Hey you’re a carpenter; Build me a birdhouse.” The carpenter offers to change the baker’s car oil. The baker changes his own oil so the carpenter offers to bake a cookie. “Bitch, I’m a motherfucking baker. What do I need with your neophyte baking skills?” The carpenter offers to cut his hair. The baker finds someone else to build the birdhouse.

It’s so silly out there. Gawk at every little trivial movement of mine says the shiny narcissist: Baby in make up. I’m feeling very-Tool Aenema today. Please come flush it. There’s the old “don’t run your mouth and prove you’re a dumbass” phrase. Dumbass-i-tude is glorified so let it all go. Yap yap yap. Yap yap yap.

You’re trying to close a deal. You’re trying to save your life. You’re trying to walk on the wild side. Do you have any idea how many dollars have been lost to motor mouth syndrome? Things grow in darkness and surrounded by the motion of the Earth. What happens when you’re environmental noise is constantly pollution. How about respect everyone’s time and ear threshold by saving your wanking for the privacy of your mental bedroom.